I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
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