I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Randomize
