Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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