am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
