they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
