Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It was like getting head from an anaconda
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
