Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
