"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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