I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
