i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
This is my gift to your gina
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
