this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
