Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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