We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
