we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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