The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
