You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
