shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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