Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My feet surprised me
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