the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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