She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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