sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
