His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
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There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
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He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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