he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
