don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
