I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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