nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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