Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You made out with two different species that night
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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