we have officially lost it.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
