and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
