he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
