Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
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