Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
