We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
