I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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