D3 body, D1 cock
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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