I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Randomize
