She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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