He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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