She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
