i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
