Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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