i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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