I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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