maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
