Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
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imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
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I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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