My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
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