this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
