I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
