so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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