If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
