Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My life is pants optional.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize