My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
