well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
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