You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
