Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
