do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I need a beard to bite.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
