He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
