You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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