tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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