sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I have surprise drugs for everyone
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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