Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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