I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
